Looking ahead one month from today, you have counted the cost and made a quality decision to walk away from pornography addiction forever. You have done the challenging things and engaged the enemy with powerful actions. There is the refreshment of repentance, with that you have refused to entertain guilt because Christ’s blood washed it all away as if you have never sinned. Time has been invested, rebuilding intimacy and you are committed to maintaining closeness with God at all cost. Cleaning house was painful but the joy that proceeded made it all worth the sacrifice. All your computers are now protected with Covenant Eyes, you cannot even imagine being without it. Even in one month there has been a change in your home. The shame is gone, you are reestablishing personal integrity. Emotions are falling in line, you feel clean, almost youthful as a huge private cloud has lifted and with it that constant feeling of emptiness and unfullfillment. Your wife now feels the door is open to discuss her pain, broken trust and perhaps even anger and although it is difficult to hear it is a vital and welcome sign of healing.
But what about all the temptations we have no control over? Even an innocent walk down a shopping mall and we are faced with soft porn images. How do we keep our eyes straight and hearts pure? Remember, I said there are two types of temptation, ones we have control over and the ones we don’t. You have aggressively removed the temptations you had control over, God promises to give grace and supernatural strength over the ones you can do nothing about.
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
In saying that, there is something you can do about the shopping mall walk. Make sure before you hit the mall you have had unrushed devotions that morning. Listen to praise music in the car on the way. Satan is an opportunist, he waits until we are weak. It will be the times when you are tired, stressed out; it may even have been a few days since you have had devotions when he will strike. Be smart; avoid tempting situations when feeling weak or tired. Ask God to help you become discerning and wise. Know your weak times, Satan does. Ideally we should always be prepared for unsuspecting temptation. It all goes back to maintaining intimacy.
Also, taking action has made you a stronger man, more resolute. There will be far more of God’s favor on your life. As time passes you will start thinking differently about yourself. Thoughts like, I’m above that. That’s for losers. I am the righteousness of God. When uninvited thoughts rise up from the inside of you like this, you are starting to think like an Untouchable, your self-esteem is shifting. This is your enemy’s worse nightmare!
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
The last thing you need to be doing is obsessing about the possibility of failing. I can hear the voices; “OK, now that I have taken all of these actions, what if I still fail? It will only prove that I am a hopeless case.” In fact some stop repenting because they have come to believe they are only setting themselves up for disappointment and failure. What if I make a decision, repent, fast and rebuild intimacy, clean house and establish accountability, remove all back doors, and still fail? The answer is; God will forgive you quickly so you can quickly get back in the race. Obsessing on failing puts you right back in the same old useless, boring focus, “you”. Are you not tired of self focus? I can tell you God is far more interesting.
Ironically, even though you have taken all the right actions, your faith is not in what you have done but what the Spirit of Christ is doing through you. The very fact that you can take these actions is due to the work of grace. “. . . for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Philippians 2:13Your actions have simply opened the front door so God can inhabit your lifestyle, freeing focus on God.
Do not be afraid of failing. God is a forgiving Father. Instead, maintain short accounts with God, quickly repent of any sin, and whatever you do, do not become lazy in maintaining intimacy with your closest friend. Guard your intimacy with God as if it is the most precious thing in your life.
If You Have Not Read, Go To: Pornography Addiction Intro
Related Testimony: I Overcome Alcohol and Porn Addiction
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