1. Slowly begin to reintroduce harmful foods. Suggestions are potato chips, pizza with extra cheese, white bread, milk, coffee or coke, milk shakes from edible oil products, fried chicken, french fries deep-fried in beef fat, eggs from chemically-raised chickens, steak with barbecue sauce and a small portion of overcooked vegetables. Throw in a couple of chocolate bars to insure an optimum toxicity level.
2. Eat very few raw fruits and vegetables. If you must eat vegetables, make sure the life has been cooked out of them. The best fruits are canned and preserved in sugar syrup.
3. Drink bottled or canned juices with brominated vegetable oils. Canned vegetable juice is fine because all the enzymes have been destroyed through pasteurization.
4. Swallow food whole. Use butter as a lubricant. Deep-fried foods will require less chewing.
5. Eat as much as you possibly can at one sitting. This conditions the muscles that support the stomach to expand, accommodating an increased volume of food.
6. Avoid fiber at all cost. If forced to eat whole-wheat flour, pick the bits of bran from the bread. This will allow the food to pass more slowly through the intestine so the body may absorb optimal toxic chemicals.
7. Do not exercise. Exercise oxygenates the cells and triggers the lymphatic system to clean the body. Try to remain in an inactive, horizontal position.
8. Snack regularly during the night so as to curb the body's natural tendencies to detoxify during sleep.
9. Attend lots of church pot-lucks, and with luck you will get your pot back in time for the beach.
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