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Fasting to Overcome Food
Addiction
by
Jim D.
I
arrived home Sunday evening feeling bloated and depressed; ashamed of myself
for over-indulging.
I made the decision to start a fast after a weekend eating
binge at my mother's house. I love my mother, but she has a way of
pushing food. She cooks the old-fashioned way, with plenty of red meat and
potatoes, desserts, the whole works. I attribute mom's “food pushing" to her
growing up with three sisters during the Great Depression. My grandfather
was out of work for a long time and maybe there just wasn't enough to eat
in their house.
When we visit my mother she is always obsessing on about what
we're going to eat. She even writes out her menus in advance and reads them
to me over the phone. I've told her many times that we don't care, but you
know how it is.
Whatever the reason, mom equates food with love so as a
result my brother, sister and I were loved into obesity. As adults we are
all still obese. I am 5'9" tall and weigh 240 pounds, toping the scales at
260 pounds. This resulted in high blood pressure causing my doctor to
want to put me on medication. Instead, I began exercising and watched what I ate. I
lost 25 pounds, which lowered my BP enough to avoid medication. But the
weight slowly crept back on.
In the past, I've had trouble resisting the rich spread Mom
would set before her family. This time was no different. Even though I had
been on the South Beach Diet for a couple months and lost 18 pounds, those
old comfort feelings of mom’s supper table were still there, and resistance
was futile. Candy, ice cream, cake, roast beef and many other foods we don't
eat at home, all beckoned, and I answered their call.
I arrived home Sunday evening feeling bloated and depressed:
ashamed of myself for over-indulging. I had enough. Seemingly on the spur of
the moment I decided to start a water fast the next day. My decision was not
made on a whim. I have tried fasting several times before and never even
made it through the first day. I recently had begun praying for guidance and
came to the conclusion that fasting was something I needed to do for both my
body and spirit. So this fast would have twin aims: to lose weight and to
better connect with God.
I sailed through the first couple of days when hunger pangs
were at their worst. It felt like God was sustaining me. The prolonged
absence from food enabled me to make a life-changing breakthrough. I will
never forget day 9 of my water fast, that is when my food addiction died.
It all started in the early morning with a strange dream.
I was standing at the top of a staircase looking down into a
dark basement. I could hear someone crying down there. At first I thought it
was my daughter, but then realized it wasn’t. Someone started coming up the
stairs. It was a girl I had ever seen before, just an average-looking girl
with longish dark hair. When she reached the top of the stairs she embraced
me, looked in my eyes, and then died in my arms.
Upon awakening, I had a clear understanding of what that
strange dream meant. The girl represented my pathological relationship with
food, and the basement was my subconscious. She crawled out of whatever hole
in my soul she had occupied for so many years, and she reassured me that
everything was ok and then she left me. I knew that this was a life changing
moment.
I started the fast at 223 pounds, and the morning of the
dream weighed in at 207, 16 pounds in eight days, and the lightest I've been
in decades. I'm confident that not only will I continue to lose weight (my
long-term goal is to get to 175 pounds) but that I can keep it off having
rid myself of a lifelong food addiction that began as a little child.
Footnote
by
Ron Lagerquist
Something happens to that
barrier that separates the conscious and subconscious during fasting. Many
people have shared having very meaningful dreams deep into their fast that
revealed important keys to understanding themselves better. We should not
be surprised at this, the bible says that in the last days “men will
dream dreams.” (Joel 2:28)
I wonder if it is simply that fasting quiets the
external senses enough so the inner senses can be brought to the fore and
for the first time in years we regain connection to our spiritual self, and
more importantly to our connection to God. Great story
Jim , thanks for
sharing.
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