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Breaking Porn Addiction – Action 1 - Make a Decision

By: Ron Lagerquist

Truth is, there are real solutions to the crisis of pornography addiction but first you must have the desire to be free at any cost. Be willing to do anything. Like all addiction, it has become a secret friend, a friendship you have come to depend on emotionally when feeling empty, insecure or lonely. It will cost you to walk away.

Many men find themselves repenting over and over compelled by the aftermath of guilt and shame. Once those ugly feelings regress into the background they are face first in the same old vomit. Honestly, the weepy prayers are mostly a habitual response to a nasty aftertaste and therefore have little power. Lasting freedom is not founded on guilty feelings; there must be something more substantial. Lifelong change comes from a clear minded choice made with a full understanding of the cost of remaining in sin and the cost of walking away forever. You cannot have it both ways, if you remain long enough the choice will be made for you.

In all fairness to your loved ones you need to have the courage to get off the sin/repentance rollercoaster and make a choice once and for all. First, understand you have a right to your pornography. Pornography is perfectly legal and today has become a common form of entertainment consummation. It constitutes the largest sales of every type of media including the Internet, so you are among a large company.  It is within your right to consume as much as your eyes want and I am sure you have discovered even God will not stop you. It is your free choice.

If you decide to remain in pornography there are people who have a right to know, your spouse for one and if you are in spiritual leadership you need to step down. If you have a righteous wife and have no intention of stopping then she has Biblical precedent to divorce you. She deserves the right to know so she can make an informed decision. Settling this now will save you and the ones you love a whole lot of pain and trouble.

You may think that if you decide to stay in your addiction you cannot deal with the daily guilt. Don’t worry, with each act, your heart will become harder until you begin to rationalize that the sin of lust is really not that bad. After a while you won’t feel a thing. This is not said in a condemning way, it is simply time to make a decision, no more sitting on the fence. The Bible calls it lukewarm and it makes God sick (Rev 3:16). Be a man, here and now and make a choice. 

Jesus tells us to count the cost. Breaking this pervasive addiction will demand a cost. Are you willing to pay the price? Is your marriage, children, ministry, most of all, relationship with God worth it?

Here are some costs and rewards, read carefully.

Cost of Staying In Pornography

  • alienation from those closest to you including God
  • guilt, shame and remorse
  • hurt the people you love
  • desensitized conscience and detachment
  • never discovering your full spiritual potential
  • jaded view of women
  • loneliness
  • controlled
  • intimacy issues
  • low self esteem
  • insecurity
  • a constant feeling of hypocrisy

Rewards of Staying In Pornography

  • a temporary high
  • something to fall back on when feeling bored
  • sexual fulfillment on demand
 

Cost of Walking Away From Pornography



  • temporarily grieving the loss of an old friend
  • temporary feeling of depression and emptiness
  • feeling restricted in following a strong impulse
  • no longer having an escape when feeling out of control
  • not having sexual fulfillment on demand
  • enduring withdrawals to a powerful addiction
  • the arduous job of working through unresolved issues
  • putting restrictive measures in place

Rewards of Walking Away From Pornography

  • a growing contentment
  • freedom from shame, guilt and remorse
  • nothing to hide
  • building a legacy of holiness
  • blessing your family
  • marital healing
  • even emotions
  • able to grow into emotional and spiritual maturity
  • single-minded ministering with a clear conscience
  • enjoying God’s favor
  • rediscovering your spouse
  • intimacy with God
  • life of integrity


These are but a few examples. The most effective way to count the costs and rewards is to write them out yourself. They will be different for everyone.

It is my prayer that you have decided to walk away from your destructive friendship with pornography. If you have said yes to God then you are willing to do the difficult things to be successful. All choices must result in action. 

Next Article: Action 2 - Repent


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I have been a slave to porn for about 12 years. It's time for a permanent change. I typed out a list...it's really long...i usually only saw the great evil inherent in this addiction by viewing singular aspects...but that list...it's a how to guide to death. I can only rely on JESUS to break free of this bondage. And fasting is indeed a clear access point of being humbled.
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